Kabuto's Little Quest Thing
by Call me Kira
Summary: Orochimaru died but before that, he gave Kabuto a death wish that he must fulfill for Orochimaru AND him. Kabutox? Vote a girl please.
1. Chapter 1

Summary: Orochimaru died but before that, he gave Kabuto a death wish that he must fulfill for Orochimaru AND him. Kabutox? Vote a girl please.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto and I would never dream of owning pokemon…

"**Kabuto's Little Quest"**

Chapter one: Death Wish 

"Kabuto…" the hoarse voice of a snake sannin called for his right hand man.

The sound nin abruptly approached his master, "Y-yes, Orochimaru-sama?"

"Please," he coughed, "do me a favor…"

"Anything…" If you guys think this is some kind of OroKabu moment, then you're thinking wrongly. This fic ain't having any OroKabu, fortunately/ unfortunately, depending on how the way you look at it.

"Please Kabuto, get a girlfriend for Pete's sake!" Kabuto blinked. That wasn't really what he expected. "Get married, have a male child… and…"

"And?"

"Name him Orochimaru…" Now he WAS NOT expecting THAT request.

Before he knew it, his master's life had slipped away. Black eyes widened, "NOOO!"

Okay now putting all that drama aside, let's fast forward to tomorrow.

Our hero had packed his bags and got ready for his girl-hunting the previous night. He didn't want to travel alone but luckily, he found a companion!

"Well then Kabuto, you know anything about girls?" I know what you're thinking, he's talking to himself, right? Well then you're wrong. It was worse than that. He was taking to a POKEMON named Kabuto, like him.

The brown pocket monster shook his head, "Ka-buto!"1

"Sad… You know where to find girls?"

"Ka-buto!" the pokemon nodded.

"Great!"

Human girls? No. The little creature led him to a bunch of female KABUTOS. Okay, not a bunch. A million Kabutos, and I'm not exaggerating. It was seriously a million.

The sound nin carefully approached one of them and decided to act gentleman-like.

"Hi. My name's Kabuto. And you?"

The pokemon bit him. And hissed. And if she had legs she would've kicked him in the groin. Ouch. Feisty one indeed. While he, the human Kabuto, was unsuccessful, his companion, the poke Kabuto, was a born lady's man. Because as you can see, the female Kabuto population was surrounding the said monster with hearts in their eyes.

The gray haired shinobi sighed. How was he gonna get a girl in the first place? He was very clueless when it comes to romance and love and stuff like that. But he was sure of one thing. He was a virgin. A virgin from head to toe. Come on, he never had his first kiss yet! Even if it's in some play or Spin the Bottle, his lips remained untouched. A very, very unlucky man.

Oh, what about the pokemon? He ditched him long before. That little bastard decided he would help those girl Kabutos in reproducing. Yuck. He doesn't even want think about it. So now he's going solo.

"How can I win a girl's heart…" He asked himself as if the answer would just pop out of no where. Which, fortunately, did. He fell flat on a bush of roses. Thorny roses. He got up, healed his wounds with his super medical abilities, and a lightbulb appeared above his head. "FLOWERS!"

Ah yes, flowers. A lot of girls like flowers. Just like that Yamanaka girl… or maybe even pinky(Sakura). Oh joy.

He whipped out a notepad and wrote his discovery with his pencil, Lee style.

"Yosh!" He exclaimed, eyes filled with determination. "I shall be the most charming guy ever!" …He should stay away from Lee and Gai, seriously.

First stop, Hidden Village of Leaf, Konohakagure.

Ah yes, village of many beautiful girls, perverted guys and of course, crazy Sasuke fangirls… and in some cases, fanboys.

Life was great here! I don't see why Orochimaru left…

"SASUKE-KUN!"

…Okay, okay. I now see why that snake sannin left.

Anyways… To Kabuto!

The said shinobi was currently sitting on a bench, thinking. He took out his shinobi cards, no, it's not like Yu-Gi-Oh! or anything of that sort… it was info cards! Horrah for Kabuto's ultra genius brain!

"Okay, I have limited choices… One, people here hate sound nins and I'm a sound nin. Two, I hate lunatic fangirls which seems to inhabit in Konoha because of the good looking guys, a.k.a Uchiha Sasuke, Hyuuga Neji, etc… And three, I'm practically not the best bachelor around…"

The Yakushi checked out the girls available, best known as the girls us Naruto watchers know.

"First card, Haruno Sakura…" the gray haired man blinked. And blinked. And blinked once more. And finally he frowned. "I despise pink. " (A/N Sorry but I'm not particularly the biggest Sakura fan around…)

So… Pinky, OUT.

"Second card, Yamanaka Ino…" Well, blondes aren't that bad… But blue eyed blondes strongly remind him of another blue eyed blonde who babbles a lot. A really cute blue eyed blonde. (A/N Three guesses who… XP 2) She can be a candidate.

Flower babe, IN.

"Third card, Hyuuga Hinata…" Oh yes, the shy one. She's very innocent making her irresistibly cute. She's not very confident but we can fix that. Her Byakugan can be useful, at least his offspring can have a bloodline technique.

Hyuuga girl, IN.

"Fourth card, Ten Ten…" (A/N I don't know her last name…) Weapon master… The tomboy, right? Well she looks fine. Not that pretty but not ugly. Average, I guess. Oh well.

Weapon chick, IN.

So in the Hidden Village of Leaf, three candidates. That can do.

He then felt someone in front of him. He looked up and saw the one and only Naruto. They stared for a while. Quite a while.

"Ermm… Kabuto, what are you doing here?" the Uzumaki innocently and adorably asked. The oto ninja could squeal and take him instead of the other girls if it weren't for Orochimaru's death wish. Sigh. Life is plain cruel.

"I'm here to find a girlfriend…" Kabuto replied.

"I suggest you go," the whiskered boy scratched his head. "You're not the most popular guy, you know."

"Oohh… I'm so scared! What are ya gonna do? Kick me in the ass? With a bunch of gennins?" He mockingly said, forgetting the fact that he himself was also a gennin and that the boy in front of him had defeated him once and can defeat him again.

"No, actually, a bunch ANBUs and jounins, thank you very much…" Kakashi boringly appeared with a dozen ANBUs and jounins.

"Oh shit."

"Yes shit."

And Kabuto was punched and kicked to the next village! Village of Sand! YAY-NESS!

Next stop, Hidden Village of Sand, Sunakagure.

Well at least he didn't land on the Kazekage, Gaara. He'll probably still be mad because the Sound tricked them, hardiharhar.

Anyways, apparently, there was only one good female here and she had her advantages and disadvantages.

"Fifth card, Temari." The only girl with the ultra sized fan. The only one who tied her hair up like that. The second blonde candidate. Advantages? Fairly good fighter. Not one of those girls that thinks more of her looks than training. At least he doesn't need to keep on saving her in the future. Disadvantages? Well, her brother was Gaara. Can be tough to get. Her brother was Gaara. She has two brothers and one of them is Gaara. Her brother was Gaara. And her brother was Gaara… Oh he'll be so dead before he can even ask her to be his girlfriend. Oh, well. Better get what you've got!

Fan user, IN.

Hidden Village of Sand, one candidate.

Just when he thought he was safe, he had to bump into a certain Sand nin.

Even though Gaara was shorter than him, he seemed to make Kabuto smaller with that glare. Shudders. Only one thing came to his mind.

He. Was. So. Dead.

And once more, he was seriously pummeled to the next village.

Practically his last stop, the Village of Sound, his home!

Last stop, Hidden Village of Sound, Otokagure.

Ah yes, home sweet home. Why he didn't start here? I have no idea!

And once again, he had a few choices. Erm… Actually, he has only one choice here.

"Sixth card, Tayuya…" The weakest of the Sound Five. The only female in the Sound Five. The firey red head of the Sound Five. A fellow oto nin. Ah yes. A nice candidate. She obeys Orochimaru and she'll understand why they have to name him after their master if they get together. This is beautiful!

Red head, IN.

So now he has… five girls to chose from! Horrah Horrah!

Now let's see how he'll be able to take them on…

A/N

This first chapter went well…

I'm not sure of what Kabuto the pokemon says…

Oh, sorry about that. I couldn't help but put a little KabutoNaruto there. ; I strongly support AnyoneNaruto… with a few exceptions of course.

Yes dear readers, you shall vote on who this guy's gonna end up with. And sorry Sakura fans, don't hate me but Sakura won't be available for she'll end up with Lee.

Candidates:

Yamanaka Ino

Hyuuga Hinata

Ten Ten

Temari

Tayuya

…and any other candidate suggestions are welcome. Please **vote!**

Thank you, readers, for reading. Please review for dear me!

Hope to see you next chapter!


	2. Chapter 2

Summary: Orochimaru died but before that, he gave Kabuto a death wish that he must fulfill for Orochimaru AND him. Kabutox? Vote a girl please.

Disclaimer: Naruto owns to that Misashi Kishimoto guy…

"**Kabuto's Little Quest"**

Chapter two: Seventh card? …Job!

Kabuto scanned on all his candidates. He felt something was missing. Someone should be in his list. The problem was, he didn't know who!

Yeah, and guess what, that night he had a dream with some angel descending from above and told him something about a black haired woman he had met… sorta met… before when his dear master Orochimaru was still alive.

Well there was a clue. A black haired woman. Yeah. That was sooo informative. The next thing he wanted to know was that she is the assistant of the Godaime Hokage! Oh joy!

Oh man.

He's such an idiot! Of course! It was ANKO! I mean, she was the student of the snake sannin. She is a black haired woman. And she ISN'T the assistant of the Hokage! It MUST be her!

…Oh Kami-sama help him.

It so happens she had never met her before. He had only seen her picture… So who?

It was definitely not Kure…something. He had never met her either.

What a poor, poor cluless fella.

Well, we'll find out who's that girl soon enough… I hope.

Somewhere in Konoha…

Kabuto needed money. And since he can't take missions since he wasn't a shinobi of Leaf then yeah… He's practically penniless.

There's only one solution. He needs a job.

Yes, people, a job. That thing you do to serve the community and all. That thing that wastes your time. That thing that makes you keep on searching for wanted ads everyday until you get a job! Gahhh! The evil thing!

So… what job?

First he needed to list down all the things he's good at… Like being smart. Spying. Being smart. Spying. …And of course! Being an ultra cool medical ninja! Go Kabuto!

To the hospital!

Konoha Hospital…

Ah yes, the best place to heal yourself from those injuries you get from them missions. The best place to meet some friends. And of course the best place to get a job if you happen to be a medic nin! Haha!

And it so happens there's a wanted sign posted outside…

So our hero decided to go inside. And there he saw someone…

"YOU!" his jaw dropped. It was that girl he fought before with the sannin! Yeah! Her! …What's her name?

Shizune looked up from what she was reading and got the same expression as he did. "YOU!"

"What are you doing here!"

"I work here! What about you!"

"I want to work here!"

"Who needs your help you sound scum!"

"The hospital!"

"Are you a medic nin!"

"Yeah!"

"… Okay. You're in."

… Kabuto stared at the black haired woman, "I'm in?"

"Yeah… You start today… Clean up the blood in room 10… The mop is over there…" she pointed to a corner. "Oh, and gramps felt a bit queasy so take care of the vomit while you're at it…"

And Kabuto found himself carrying a mop and a bucket filled with water. "Eh?"

"What are you standing around for? Clean away, matey!" the kunoichi grinned in a pirate-ish way.

… So he did. And guess what, he did a damn good job! Points to Kabuto for ultra cleanliness! Zero for the pokemon who is currently doing who knows what! Yeah!

"To the E.R.! We've gotta give him immediate treatment!" a certain female medical ninja came rushing, pushing one of those beds on wheels thing with what seems like an ANBU member in critical condition. And of course, there was blood. And the blood stained the floor. His floor. The very floor he spent all his love and effort on vanishing it's horrible stains! HIS BELOVED CLEAN FLOOR!

"Hey, four-eyes! Clean up the mess for me, okay?"

He twitched. And he twitched. And he twitched some more… He was gonna kill that girl. That is why…

SHE'S THE SEVENTH CARD! AHAHAHAHA!

… Question was, did he make the right decision?

A/N

Yeah! Shizune has been included by err… popular demand!


	3. Chapter 3

Summary: Orochimaru died but before that, he gave Kabuto a death wish that he must fulfill for Orochimaru AND him. Kabutox? Vote a girl please.

Disclaimer: Naruto owns to that Misashi Kishimoto guy…

"**Kabuto's Little Quest"**

Chapter three: Rivals for her heart!

Kabuto sat on a tree branch _outside_ the Hyuuga property. Why outside? Well, there's practically one good reason. He if he was inside, he'll end up being Jyuukened by Hinata's scary father and be kept outside, like a poor useless dog. But then he wasn't a four-legged animal… So he'll be a poor useless Kabuto.

So our hero stayed outside with binoculars, trying hard to know more about the Hyuuga heiress. So far, all he's seen is her fate bounded cousin getting randomly attacked by gardening tools such as a rake and a hose. Right now, he seems to be in a life or death battle between a shovel. Out of all things. And Kabuto thought Orochimaru was a little screwed.

But then, this isn't some fic about Neji and Kabuto because that'll be total crack.

So on with the spying!

'There she is!' The former sound ninja grinned in a not-so-perverted way. Just then Hnata came out, clad in her usual outfit and talking to two guys.

Kabuto's rivals!

Ah yes, his rivals. Doggy breath and bug boy. Or if a hippie would come in, he'll be probably called 'moon beetle'(1), because that's just the way it is… Two weren't much of a challenge, considering they weren't the in same rank as Hinata, an heiress for one of the most prestigious clans in the shinobi world.

Doggy breath, also known as Inuzuka Kiba, was like most Inuzukas. He had the power to understand dogs, more specifically Akamaru. But then who said that was impressive? Kakashi was able to teach Pakkun how to _talk human language_, while Akamaru just barks. Like a normal dog.

Then there's our Moon Beetle, or you can just call him Aburame Shino. He was… unapproachable. This guy was creepy and… buggy. Lay a finger on him and you'll soon find a bug somewhere on your body. But then, he was an Aburame and Aburames are just like that. He didn't look like he had any interest in Hinata, but you can never tell.

But then, there was a challenge! Hinata's very strong crush, UZUMAKI NARUTO!

Yes, the blonde was his ultimate match for the Hyuuga's heart. The blueberry haired kunoichi is in love with him and Kabuto didn't want to break true love. Even if Naruto is oblivious, the one-sided affection was still deep.

All of this information was being written by the Yakushi in this green notebook he had bought from the shop near the hospital yesterday after 'work'. "These are important data… must record it down."

Suddenly, out of no where, a hammer painfully struck him on the noodle making him to loose his balance and fall face first on the ground.

"AHA! BEAT THAT!" Neji exclaimed, having to have defeated a _hammer_. We don't really know if he's on something or if Gai and Lee had affected him this much, enough to loose his very sanity. Or if he's just on crack today.

"Ouch… my head." Unfortunately for Kabuto, he ended up inside the forbidden 'compound'. So then, guess what happened.

…It was like this…

"Ahem." Our four-eyed friend looked up and ended up face to face with no other than Hyuuga Hiashi, Hinata's father.

'Crap.'

At the end, even with his attempts to hide from the scary clan head, he was still Jyuukened out of the property.

Poor Kabuto.

* * *

Our silver haired friend sighed.

He was at the hospital, working, even if he had a couple of injuries here and there. But then what kind of work was moping the hallway? Don't they have a janitor for this? If they don't they should get one. Kabuto was a medic nin, not a cleaning nin. His precious medical skills will rust away if it continues on like this!

"Hey, we're here to see Akimichi Chouji…"

Kabuto looked at the source of the voice. It was Yamanaka Ino talking to Shizune. Oh what perfect timing! He could now learn more about her rivals!

So far, there were three, he guessed. Sasuke didn't count because he's Mr. 'I have to kill my brother, look cool, and don't touch me fangirls!' So there was Nara Shikamaru, probably Akimichi Chouji, and I guess Sarutobi Asuma.

Nara Shikamaru was a lazy ass boy, Kabuto was sure. But then he had one trait he will never be able to beat. Shikamaru had an IQ of 200. Poor Kabuto since he only has limited knowledge. He was a good match for Kabuto, unlike the previous two who he observed earlier in the story. He wasn't ugly and he's a great strategist who'll probably be the best thinker the village has to offer. And since he was a Nara, he has to marry some powerful girl to boss him around, right? And it so happens Ino is like that. And now Kabuto's rival rate gives the Nara a score of 5/5! A worthy rival indeed!

Next is Chouji. Now we're not sure if the flower princess is interested in him a bit. From anyone's point of view, being friends was the best relationship they can both have. But who knows if events may twist a little and give fatso a chance. Now since Kabuto didn't want to be mean I calling Chouji 'fatso' he'll just call him 'chubby'. See? Kabuto was kind. Any girl would want him!

The last is probably her jounin instructor. Okay, the medic nin wasn't sure if he was some pedophile or anything, but we can never be too sure. I mean, the next thing we know, he's chasing after the Haruno girl. …Scary. He's quite a bad example for the young ones with his smoking. The government says that cigarette smoking is dangerous to your health, but is he listening? No. So Kabuto has a prediction this guy won't die because of battle, he'll die because of all the smoke that's polluting his lungs! All in all, not much of a guy to look at. …He's better off with someone his own age; Kurenai, perhaps?

Now, because of all his daydreaming and not paying attention to his surroundings, he tripped. And then the bucket full of water went flying, pouring water on Kabuto and landing on top of his head. So he was sitting on the floor, mop on his lap, looking like he just came from a swimming pool. Come to think of it, do they have a swimming pool in Leaf?

"Yakushi! Clean that up… People might slip, you know." Shizune looked down at him smiling, like she was happy Kabuto had just embarrassed himself in front of a dozen people, including Ino. He could only cutely pout and give him a half-hearted glare. Life was unfair.

* * *

Temari happened to be in town. Lucky Kabuto. Looks like his luck is turning now…

"You. Sound nin. I saw you at Sand."

He spoke too soon. Once again, he came face to face with the dreaded Shukaku carrier. He suddenly kept sweating out of nervousness. This didn't look good for him. So while he only has a few moments to live, let's let him see who his rivals are for Temari.

Not much. Only probably Shikamaru, but we've reviewed him before. Well, that's kinda good. Less competition. But I guess it wasn't that easy. Even if no guy is currently chasing her now, there's one big threat.

Her brother. Gaara.

Now, shooing his last bit of dignity away, he prayed to the gods to forgive him for all he has done, all the people he betrayed, the people he killed, the people he wanted to kill, that they would find some other person to betray/kill them. And he literally begged for his life!

"Do not touch my sister." And with a glare, Gaara walked away, heading for the Hokage's office.

Kabuto blinked. And blinked. And chased his remaining pride to come home to him.

He wasn't going to die!

* * *

Now since he was spared from the horrific sand coffin thing, he went inside a weapon shop to _spy_, not stalk, the one and only TenTen. And there she was, with her fellow team mates, Rock Lee and Hyuuga Neji, who seemed to be out of crack. Good thing, too.

The said two were his rivals. Gai wasn't included because I don't think anyone has ever paired the two up together in fanfiction. Besides, that'll be pedophilic and cracked. Gai's better off single.

On with fuzzy eyebrows and girly hair.

Rock Lee was, well, Rock Lee. He had a good personality but his looks… uhhh… no comment. Maybe if he looked like Sasuke or Neji, then he'll probably be the most perfect guy around. But he doesn't look like any of them… Oh well. His loss. He just had to look like Gai. He just had to! Since he was currently in love with pinky, or Sakura, he wasn't much of a challenge or what so ever.

The Hyuuga was a genius. The clan's prodigy. He had the Byakugan, and has even mastered it, unlike Kabuto, who doesn't have any bloodline. All he can do is some medical jutsu stuff. But that was cool, too. All his problem was his attitude. If he wasn't on crack. Because like we witnessed earlier, being on crack meant things like fighting with inanimate objects such as a rake. Of all things. Though all these flaws are visible, TenTen may have some liking for him.

"Hey! I know you!" Kabuto was snapped out of his analyzing and looked at the brunette.

He smiled back at the weapon master. "Really? Ahehehehe…"

"Yeah." She giggled. "You work at the hospital. You're the one that tripped on a bucket of water at the first floor."

His happy mood flew away. '…Darn. Out of all things I could've been recognized for. It had to be that incident!'

"What's your name?"

"Yakushi Kabuto. Yours?" 'Oh joy! The third girl who knows my name!' He inwardly danced. The first was Tayuya, but she still calls him some insulting names… And the second was Shizune, but she also calls him other names.

"Call me TenTen."

"Nice to meet you."

For once in his life, he was successful in some way! Horrah for Kabu-chan! …I mean Kabuto!

* * *

Not letting his good mood to waste, he worked hard at the hospital with no complaints! He's now in good terms with the weapon chick giving him higher points in getting her! Whoo!

And since he was so joyful, why not see who are his rivals for his co-worker's heart!

One probability was the Copy-nin, Hatake Kakashi. He is always late, giving lame excuses at the end. He also reads that perverted orange book wherever he goes. Doesn't he have any shame? Pft. Some jounin he is. At least Kabuto doesn't read such pornographic material. But Kakashi seems to attract girls because of his mysterious face. There may be some rumors about it, from buck teeth to fish lips; but that just made the ladies want to see his face even more. I mean, even the famous Uchiha Sasuke couldn't help but feel questioning. A worthy rival!

Now I, the author, don't know if Kabuto has any other challenge so we'll just stick with this one person, who may be equivalent to two people!

Kabuto may have almost gotten defeated by the Sharingan user before, but not again! Because this is a different competition! This is about LOVE! Ahehehehe…

"Shizune-san! I'm done cleaning the hall!" He called out happily. He was smiling like an idiot, but a cute idiot he was.

Shizune smiled back. She noticed something odd about him. He was… well… very happy. It was odd but… she had nothing to do with it!

He had no rivals for Tayuya and he was confident about this bit of information. So less worries here! It was one of the best days ever, minus the part being Jyuukened out of the Hyuuga compound and facing off Gaara, the Kazekage.

His rivals aren't much competition now, were they?

A/N

This is as much as I can do for now. I'm not rushing into things so be patient if you want to know who he'll end up with.

1- Moon Beetle - credits to my friend who made that up. I like the ring to it. P

Don't forget to Review:3


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